First of 28 Days

I've never been this pregnant. It was on this day of gestation during my last pregnancy that Kyle was born. 36 weeks. It is kind of scary to still be facing a probably four more weeks--although I could be facing six. I've never been this big or carried this large of a baby. I've never faced spontaneous labor or false labor contractions. It's totally new from here until the end.

This pregnancy is also very different. I wasn't nearly as sick as I was with Kyle (no surgery or hospitalizations), I've had no high blood pressure, or debilitating pain or insomnia; however, I have struggled with bouts of faintness, joint aches, and reflux. And with both, I've worked hard to improve my boarderline anemia. Even how Aiden is in my body, less responsive and muffled movements, based on placement is so different.

However, the biggest change is this:


It arrived yesterday and I couldn't be more excited and filled with anticipation. It comes with these wonderful women (pictures courtesy of Cathy):

(Bri)

(Cathy)

My pool was missing a piece, awaiting on another client to return the attachment, and so that will come as soon as it can be complete.

If you haven't figured it out. I'll tell you what I mean. I've been too afraid to directly reference it on our blog and I've tried to tell as few people as possible. But I've decided that I am no longer worried about what people think of my decision. I've already dealt with both my family and my in-laws being unsupportive and this is not about them anyway. So here is my worldly declaration: I'm having a home birth in the living room of my apartment with those wonderful midwives and my very devoted husband, hopefully, Kyle will even be sleeping in the next room. But if not, he'll be close by with friends who have gone before in this endeavor. And, for the record, it will be wonderful.

After my last experience with OBs and the traumatic pregnancy where we felt little control or compassion or even validation followed with a disrespectful labor and unnecessary preemie, I couldn't face that again. My body was so violated along with my spirit during the last pregnancy. It was either choose another option or refuse all prenatal care. Because Evan has known Bri for about six years, we had talked to her during my pregnancy with Kyle. We even considered a home birth and were trying to move to a midwife in the hospital when I was scared into a medically unnecessary induction. But before Kyle was born, I did a lot of reading at Bri's guidance. Even before I got pregnant again, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt we would have a home birth with Bri.

We have faced a lot of opposition, but Evan has been on the same page with me from the very beginning. I had to do no convincing. Do you know that if you need three hours to process through your previous birth experience and gain confidence in your ability to birth naturally, Bri will do it with you. If you need to text her at 10 o'clock at night for whatever reason--even if it is to brag about how much iron you've consumed or liquid, she'll respond. You can have a prenatal in your clothing with your child and husband by your side. If you have to go to her house on a Sunday to have your heart listened to--she's available. And if you're all hungry after your prenatal, you'll all go out to dinner and ice cream after. If you need weekend night prenatals--it'll be worked out. You even get home visits. I've gained such a deep friendship and not just a medical professional. And let there be no confusion: she is a trained, college graduate, with medical knowledge and abilities.

So we are planning a birth party, Evan even wants something similar to a Kraft service table with snacks and goodies for during and after labor. I have a puzzle to keep me busy in early labor and we're taking a birth class from Cathy. Cathy is providing me with knowledge on pain techniques, but mostly she is telling me that I can do it. The only fear and anxiety that I still have is over natural childbirth--who really wants to be in pain. But I know that I can, even if Evan, Bri, and Cathy are the only others who also believe.

I am so grateful to be surrounded by loving support this time. My body is respected. My feelings are validated. I am in control (except of the actual time he'll come and of course that drives me crazy :) We will have this baby in our home, in our chosen nest prepared the way we desired, surrounded by what brings us joy. It'll be wonderful. I'll admit though, I'll miss TLC at the hospital because we don't have TV at home, and I love TLC. But, it's a good trade off :)

I feel so confident in our decision. So confident in the ability of my body and the training and knowledge of these women. I feel empowered in my pregnancy. Even though I was friends with Bri before, I feel like the woman that is delivering my baby and seeing me at my most vulnerable is one of my best friends. She loves all of us (Evan, me, Kyle and Aiden) and is as excited for my birth as we are. How could this birth be even better? Who would be a better person to embark on this journey with?

***Note: I started this blog as a way to journal and include pictures (which I often don't print off) of what is going on for the sake of my kids. This post is mostly for Aiden, and could be offensive to some. I've been thinking for several long weeks about what I want to say, and I've tried to put it as best that I can.

Zoo

So the last time that we went to the zoo was for Kyle's first birthday (8 months ago). He was still too young to really appreciate it. I think the animals were too far away for him to focus. Luckily, we have these amazing friends with a zoo pass and we go for free with them---


Aren't they the cutest. Kyle loves their house and every week when we go over he gets all excited pointing and talking (in the serious sound making although no real words). I partially think that it is because there seems to be a never ending supply of food given to him. For example, after the zoo all the kids had peanut butter sandwiches and none of the older kids ate the crust--Kyle spent the next hour, going into the kitchen, climbing up to the table, getting a piece of crust, bringing it to the living room, and eating. But he also loves Gracie (the youngest). Thank you Hyzer's for allowing us to tag along.

This is the only picture I got of Kyle because my camera was running out of batteries--thanks to the other 35 he took the Saturday before. But he was intently telling me something--if I only knew what :)


Kyle really enjoyed the zoo this time and could see the animals and since he loves animals it was perfect. When we saw the monkeys, he pointed and said, "Daddy." Evan thinks I'm kidding. But I am entirely serious. The wildcat was the only thing that he correctly identified, "kitty." :)

We went to the farm at Thanksgiving Point for Memorial Day and I should have taken pictures but I left my camera at home on accident. He loved that as well and everything, especially the cows and horses, were called, "doggie."

Fwancee

Last weekend, Frances came home from Washington D.C. (although after a year, is Utah still her home?? Probably not) to do this incredible bike ride up by Logan and to see people. We went to a bonfire with s'mores (made with reeses's cups--so good). This is how excited Kyle was to see her--and we even taught him her name that day, Fwancee.

These are the two old friends, although I think Kyle was mostly sitting with her because she kept giving him graham crackers. :)


He took 35 pictures on my camera that look something like the next two, but after the camera would click, he would laugh and smile and keep going. It gave him too much joy to take it away, although it did wear out my battery.



And this is 35 weeks.

Mother's Day

I had a wonderful Mother's Day. I was spoiled. I asked Evan to make me Sunday dinner and strawberry shortcake using pound cake. He did wonderful in his cooking endeavors and it has given him more confidence in his kitchen abilities. Hopefully, that will benefit the whole family.

This is Kyle demonstrating his mothering abilities. His bunny is wrapped in that baby blanket. He did it himself :) Don't worry, I only worry for Aiden a little. This is also the smile he now gets when he sees the camera. After, he asks to see the baby on the screen.


This is after Evan and Kyle brought me breakfast in bed. Like I said, I had a very good mother's day.


I just love this picture. I had been gone for 15 minutes to get showered and this is what I found. Being little is hard work.

Avery's Graduation

On May 8th, Avery, Evan's younger sister, graduated with a bachelor's in veterinary science from Utah State University in Logan. We were able to go up there and enjoy the festivities with Evan's family and celebrate the remarkable achievement that this is. Avery is the first in her generation to finish her bachelor's degree.



(this was after three hours of sitting for the university wide commencement---he did very well for the length of all the ceremonies)




We are very proud of this girl and honored she made us part of her celebration. She has done well and we're excited to see what she does next.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

So Evan and I bought tickets two weeks ago, or maybe more now, for Ohio. We are going in August. I'm so excited. Because, we never go anywhere, and I live where I can see all the planes landing at the SLC airport from my windows all day long.

I calculated when the last time I flew was---ready for this---October 2007. Evan and I went to Chicago for 3 days. The last vacation that we had was a 4 day trip to Portland, we drove, in February 2009. Over a year ago. We have taken 2 little escapes to Roosevelt, Utah. Which I love, don't get me wrong. But they are usually 36 hours and not as satisfying as a "real" vacation. This time, we are going from a Saturday to a Friday (that's like a whole week).

It's been hard to always be here. I used to travel the world--literally. I lived in Romania and China. I flew home more frequently than every two years. I went places. So I am hoping that this trip will usher in a new era in our lives--one in which we travel.

P.S. Let's be honest, it won't. We'll still be a poor college student family and Kyle will be 2 in September so we'll be paying for his seat from then on. That is why we are going in August. Both boys will be under two and we only have to pay for Evan and me.

Mohawk

Kyle has a very unusual hair growth pattern going on. His widow's peak was growing quite long in the front and in the back there was some curl and a lot of poof, but his crown never seemed to grow any hair. It meant that I could pull his hair in the back in to a very small pony tail.

It was bothering me to say the least, but I have no skills in hair cutting and his widow's peak seemed tricky. Also, I had promised my good friend and long time hair genius, Maranda, the opportunity to do his first hair cut before this little one was even born.

So Saturday night, we drove to Provo for Kyle's first hair cut. This is a picture of before (and I loved her apron, which Kyle did not).


Maranda asked us what we wanted and suggested a mohawk. We went for it. Do not be confused. It is not a fauxhawk. It is actually cut into a mohawk. He liked the clippers and the blow drier but did not know what to do with the water bottle.


He helps to comb his hair at home, so he did here as well. He sat very well and I was impressed at how talented Maranda was at cutting a moving target.


Final product. Although, for the most part, we just do the top. The car seat kind of kills the back or any time he sleeps. But it looks good just hawked on top (is that a word??).


Right after, we went to a Vikking dinner. Kyle loved the sword, thought I'd just throw that in.


My mother wanted me to cut the top and leave the baby curls in the back. I don't think she understands the concept of a mullet. But I was not going to do that or let the mullet continue. This is so much better and I think it makes him look even older. It was such a fun experience too and Kyle seemed to like it!

P.S. I'd like to give a shout-out to Teresa. We told her about the haircut on Saturday and she is the only reason this post is happening within 24 hours (I'm not good like that), but she wanted to see the pictures. So this is a post dedicated to Teresa. Do you have any pictures of Halle's first haircut?