St. Patrick's Day

I feel a little guilty after the last post. As my friend Teresa pointed out, I have been stressed recently. And my friend, Ami even called and offered her help. 

So I need to let people know that I will be okay. For some reason, this transition, organization, and new routine of living here is hard. Every decision like where I should put the linens causes me to panic. Don't ask about how the kitchen makes me feel. When Evan and I (and even before him) moved apartments, a lot of the details were the same and easy to almost directly move from one apartment to the next. However, this house just doesn't have those things because it is a 1954 house. No pantry. No hall closet. No linen closet. Built-ins in the hall, but smaller closets in the bedrooms....just different aspects to try to figure out. It is overwhelming me, I won't even start on the state of the lawn :) 

But this is not the point of this post. This is:

   

We celebrated st. Patrick's Day with Evan at work. Partly because he was on vacation and we wanted to do something fun. Partly because it was something different and I had nothing planned as my kitchen was packed and we were 2 days from a move. We had a great time and after reading the cute things that my friend's did, I vow to be better prepared next year! But Kyle got to wear a crown, so it was a win for everyone. Plus, the residents love my boys.

P.S. It turned out to be an even more special day for Kyle, as that evening he had his first experience with a McDonald's Play Place....although technically too young. We left after another unsupervised child kept pushing Kyle and he almost fell out of the structure. Nevertheless, a great time by all.

I Can Do Hard Things!!

I MADE DINNER THAT ALL 4 OF US ATE!!!

I know most of you are thinking, "Come on, Holly! I do that every night," (except Jenny because I've seen her facebook status updates about dinner now that Adam works swing shifts),

Well, ever since Kyle's change in diet I've usually made something for him, something for Evan and I (some times) and Aiden's dinner. I'd link to previous posts explaining that situation--but I'm just too lazy. After three weeks of still not having my kitchen unpacked and living with the bare necessities and forcing my husband and self to live on lean pockets and Kyle on chicken nuggets, nothing new there, I finally routed around until I found the box with the can opener. On a side note (there will be lots with how I feel today): the RS should bring meals around moves, not babies. I can freeze things while pregnant and cook postpartum, but when I have no utensils and no idea where my head is at, that is harder.

I made chicken taco soup that over reduced down and so was more of a stew. I also cut up strawberries and toasted some of the wonderful bread from Great Harvest that the Relief Society presidency brought over to welcome us (they do that here :) Since I've decided that Kyle is no longer on his junk food diet--too difficult for me and our budget. He was offered this. He only ate strawberries and bread but hey. In the effort of moving Alyse found my immersion blender--God's gift to mothers. So I also made baby food out of my soup for Aiden, he ate it! My baby loves cumin. So one easy can opening soup and all four of us fed. Hallelujah!! I also immersion blended some strawberries for Aiden for tomorrow--we are on a roll folks.

In other news, Kyle broke my camera. The hard wood floors are killing me and my routine. Kyle who takes half of our photos (because he is better than Evan and around a lot more) has never dropped my camera. Well he did, on the hard wood. It was a true mistake and not the first electronic to be dropped and broken this week. Hard wood is not as forgiving as carpet. The lens is now at a permanent jaunt and won't go in or out and so the camera just won't work. At least it was 4 years old and not new.

So Evan has been charged with researching a new camera for the family, in the price range I paid before. Even though he won't use it, he likes that stuff and wants what he wants, whereas, I don't really care. If/When we get any loan money for the summer semester we'll be buying a new one.**

**If you want to judge us about that, you can see the beginning of my post here. Look I did link! I just can't believe that it is right to miss the milestones of my child's life (like how I have none of most of that) because we don't have a camera. Tomorrow we are going to take Kyle for the dentist for the first time--no photos now. We could miss Aiden actually crawling and not just scooting back---possibly walking too. And Teresa will never see the pictures of the house once it is unpacked without a new camera. Three whole years or more could be missed. So back off (sorry, it is how I am feeling today).

So I will be catching up on past things with photos we do have---like Christmas. I might also be able to write about what Kyle is doing now---like how he says, "Tomorrow," about everything we aren't doing right now. How Aiden is favoring his blankie over his elephant--the one thing that I have two of. Or how weird this house was remodeled--no need to center the light fixture in the dinning room I like to have my table either skewed or my dinner in shadows.  Lots for everyone to look forward to.

Teeth Pictures

We first noticed on the 1st that Aiden had some sharp pointy hurty teeth (he'll bite you hard if he gets hold of your finger) coming through. We were so surprised because Kyle didn't get teeth until a few weeks before he was 1! But I haven't been able to get pictures until now. He is just so cute! Now he also has some top ones that are just so close to breaking through. And of course, in my good boy fashion he has shown no signs of teething (and neither did Kyle). I really luck out on some things. :) No complaints here.

The Visitors

Heidi and Addison came over on Friday afternoon to help me begin to tackle the kitchen. Moving a kitchen and unpacking a kitchen causes me some massive anxiety. We didn't get it all done, but we got a good start and all the top cabinets are lined. Unfortunately, to unpack you have to create a mess and I feel like that is what I am living in! However, the kids had fun. Aiden loves Addison and so does Kyle. Kyle read her a story of his own (also known as the IKEA Expedit instruction manual) on his bed. I am hoping Heidi can stop working soon so that we can play more. 

Health Insurance

I know that many people would/have told us that we chose this life, we chose to have children at this point in our lives with our income and such things. People tell us that we are on public assistance (medicaid, WIC) and therefore should be thrilled with that. We've heard all the judgments, harsh comments, remarks which make me feel incompetent, inconsiderate, and like a free loader. So if you feel this way about me and my family, maybe you shouldn't read this or any other blog post I write. Otherwise, feel free to continue.

Evan and I currently do not have health insurance. Our children have medicaid through the government, but Evan makes too much money for him and I to be covered. So unless, I am pregnant or 60 days postpartum, I am not covered. This will change in the fall because the U offers students/student families health insurance, but the community college does not. If we took Evan's work's insurance we would pay 1/4 of his monthly income to be covered by insurance that has high co-pays, high deductibles and from what we are told not very good coverage.

For the most part we have made this work. I am grateful the kids are covered with no co-pays because Kyle would be breaking our bank with them. He sees so many different doctors and follow-ups. Aiden is now following in Kyle's footsteps and so we know we are lucky. Evan has been able to suck up his problems and we know that in September we'll finally be able to see someone about his worsening migraines.

However, on Wednesday night, I got sick. For the 4th time in 7 months, I was as sick as a dog with vomiting, diarrhea, and extreme pain. Luckily, twice before I was covered and went to the ER. I know nothing about the health insurance debate, besides the negative things that my in-laws say. But the way that health insurance currently is in this country does not work.

My husband and I should not have to pray and ask for help deciding whether or not I deserve medical treatment. I should not feel guilty because I cost my family $400 to see a doctor for 15 minutes, have a blood draw and prescriptions. We should not have to debate when or if we'll get a cat scan the doctor wants, or even that the doctor changed his treatment plan once he knew we were uninsured. Now that the vomiting is keeping me from keeping down my antibiotics and antacids--I'm worried about having to get a different prescriptions because that will cost more. The anti nausea won't stay in my body either, does that mean it will cost more to get another? If that requires a followup.....oh goodness. My case isn't even that bad. I know there are those out there who are going through so much worse and need the help more than us, for that I am grateful. But no one should have to face those things.

The doctor said very clearly that I could still be producing gallstones even without a gallbladder. I'm 90% positive that is the problem, because I know what the pain feels like with this problem. I know about the intense vomiting. I even passed stones after the gallbladder was out--which required a 5 day hospitalization and morphine every 4 hours. I'm not sure I'll make it through that again. The first time it was an 18 months ordeal with countless ER trips, exploratory surgery, begging for pain killers, being called a drug seeker. At the end waiting for the surgery I couldn't get dressed, take a shower, drive in a car, work, eat, see friends, or sleep. I don't remember a darker point in my life. All I remember is asking Evan every day to cut out my insides, every day thinking it would be better to die than live through the pain.

Now, I have 2 little children and no health insurance.

Dyson DC27

So Evan and I bought our first vacuum right after Kyle was born on the day after Thanksgiving sale. We bought it for about $25 at Walmart, it was a little pink thing. It worked well for what I needed. But it broke recently, it smelled like burning and it stopped sucking. My father-in-law cleaned it out of peanuts and Kix cereal. But it still didn't work right.

So I decided that I NEEDED a new vacuum. Evan has a co-worker who buys a new one of the $25 variety every year when the old one breaks. I thought about it and decided against that route. I wanted something that would really work. That would make me feel good about putting Aiden on the floor. Something where you could see the cleaning and something that would do more than just my carpets.

I did some research on refurbished Dyson's. Evan really wanted to get one of the smaller versions with a ball rotation system. Although they are about 1/2 the weight of the larger versions it also has less sucking power. I knew that I couldn't get everything I wanted in one, so I went with the Dyson DC27 Total Clean Upright. It has amazing sucking, is heavier, and therefore, harder to maneuver. But not more difficult than my little pink one was to maneuver. At the touch of a button  you have the ability to turn off the rollers for delicate rugs and such. It also has great extension on the hose.

We got it in the mail and the day before I vacuumed with my old pink vacuum and then used my new DC27. It filled half the container with dirt and debris! I was amazed. It became my go to when I was moving and packing. It is more bulky and after using my dinky pink vacuum, and my arm felt the difference. But we are still talking a vacuum that weighs less than my two year old. It has a wide base, which Evan doesn't like, but I feel like it means less work with a wider base. The hose is FANTASTIC! So long, good suction, and I use it to vacuum out cupboards and draws, edging, dusting off furniture. 

I love my new vacuum. It works out well for me because all our carpet is downstairs so I can leave it downstairs. But because I also use it for dusting, cleaning drawers, and cleaning my non carpet floor and rugs, I'll want it up here too. I told Evan that when we have more money I really want to have one vacuum for every floor and I want all kinds so that I can get everything I want. But for now---this beauty is wonderful.

For Kicks

Announcement

I wanted to just make sure that everyone knows. This Young family is moving. On Saturday. At 9am.

We are moving to a house on the East bench about one block from I-215 and one block from Skyline High School. It is a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house. Our landlord recently bought the house and has done a major massive upgrade of everything: new paint, light fixtures, appliances, windows, AC, furnace, carpet, and I'm sure I am leaving things out. He's also cleaning up the yard. None of these things does he let us forget. We don't like him.

But we love the house. 1 mile from Evan's parents, 1 block from the express bus to the U (see two posts ago), and only a few miles from Evan's work.

We attended the new ward last Sunday. We love it. It is a "real" ward--granted I've only been in 1 family ward (the current one). The seats were filled and the people were friendly. It seemed strong and had children and young women who looked like good potential babysitters.

So until then, I've been working super hard and the only reason that the pictures of our boxes looks so organized is because I removed everything to scrub those floors on my hands and knees while Kyle tried to ride me like a horse and then put them back. I have to pack neat because I've only got so much room for the massive amount of boxes and things we have. I'm filled with anxiety that I won't be ready when everyone shows on Saturday morning. Evan assures me that it will. Here's hoping.

Confession: I have an obsession with sterilite totes. Nothing makes me happier. Nothing is as thrilling as buying plastic totes whose lids snap on or whose handles snap into place. Love them! My heart beats faster for them, in a way that it never has for Evan and I love that man dearly. I wish with my whole heart that Evan and I could afford to buy enough totes to move all our possession in those colorful, beautiful totes. Seeing the rows of those totes at Walmart fills the very depths of my heart with joy.

Cellulitis

I don't know how accurate these pictures show Aiden's red cheek, because it is bright red. After 10 days of this, 18+ hours of sleeping, decreased appetite, and a fussy fussy baby, I took Aiden to the doctor's. It seems that my sweet baby boy has cellulities. It is a skin infection--most likely as the result of that wicked cold Kyle brought home from nursery which then probably turned into a sinus infection and caused a skin infection called cellulitis in his left check.

Ten days of antibiotics and it should be cleared up. I already can see that he is getting a better appetite, but that might just be from the meds. His check is still red, but I am told it should be getting better soon.

So at 10:04 tonight Evan said, "Holly?" It was with the inflection that means something along the lines of, "We overdrew the bank account," or "I need $$$." Well, then he said, "I got into the U!!!" He was very ecstatic. I said, "Were you worried?" He wasn't, we knew he would get in. We've known this since we (meaning Evan) received revelation in the temple telling us to move NOW!! and everything would follow. So we proceeded with that, and unbeknown to me, Evan has been diligently checking his status at the U for acceptance to ease his slight anxiety. I never worried or gave it a second thought, to me it was like a formality. Kind of like my proposal of marriage the day before we got married (the ring just took forever to show up after Evan ordered it). So now we know. He is a Ute.

Numbers

----My day in numbers----
Number of Lunches Made: 1
Number of Hours Evan worked: 12
Number of Word World Episodes Watched: 4 
Number of Boxes Packed: 3
Number of Loads of Laundry: 3
Number of Ounces Aiden Drank: 24
Number of Spoon Feedings for Aiden: 3
Number of Minutes Kids Slept During Nap: 45
Number of Dishes Washed (kitchen is packed-down to basics): 26
Number of Times I Said, "Kyle get off of Aiden!": 7
Number of Texts Between Annoying/Entitled New Landlord: 8
Number of Phone Calls to Current Landlord with No Response: 3
Number of Sticks Kyle Picked Up on Our Walk: 14
Number of Sticks Kyle Told Me He Picked Up on Our Walk: 9
Number of Bedtime Stories: 3



I just keep telling myself it will be over soon and worth it. Anything to be out of this apartment.

My husbad, the Speaker

Evan was asked to speak in the priesthood leadership session of our stake conference. It is a pretty big deal, well at least to us, the only draw back is that me and the boys won't be able to hear him address those in leadership in our stake.

Because I am so proud of Evan and I think what he wrote/spoke is beautiful. I want to share it but also so the boys will know when they are older.

Holding Priesthood Keys:
Why Do We Do It

And if men come unto me I will show
unto them their weakness that they may
be humble; and my grace is sufficient
for all men that humble themselves
before me; for if they humble
themselves before me, and have faith in
me, then will I make weak things become
strong unto them.
Ether 12:27

What are priesthood keys? What are my responsibilities as a
key holder? How can I effectively magnify my calling? As my
wife and I drove from the stake center to our home these
were the questions that flooded my mind. We had just met
with President Jewkes and he had extended a calling to me
to be the elders quorum president for the Taylorsville 3rd
ward.

As a full time student that works full time with one child
and a baby six weeks away the decision to accept a call as
intense as being the elders quorum president was not an
easy one; especially not for my wife. She was already
widowed by my pursuit of an education and my endeavor to
put food on the table. To accept this calling would mean
that Sunday, her only day to spend with me, would be taken
so that I could attend early morning meetings, presidency
meetings, plan lessons, organize home teaching and visit
active and inactive families. God bless that woman.

We expressed these concerns to President Jewkes who thought
about and said to us, “I know that every thing says I
shouldn’t extend this calling but I just feel like you
need to have experience holding priesthood keys.” With
some encouraging words and an assurance to Holly that she
could meet with President Jewkes should any concerns arise.

In my experience, being in an elders quorum presidency
means that you reorganize home teaching, accept assignments
from the bishop and, of course, moving people. In fact
these aspects of the quorum business are so enveloping and
consuming that it is hard to not just focus on these things.
But, is that what holding priesthood keys is about? Not
really.

In Doctrine and Covenants 107:89 it reads:
“Again, the duty of the president over the office of elders
is to preside over ninety-six elders, and to sit in council
with them, and to teach them according to the covenants.”

As an elders quorum president I was to preside over, sit in
council with, and teach the elders in our ward. I wish that
I could tell you that for much of my presidency I wasn’t
mired in the logistical aspects of this calling. I have
been the elders quorum president for a little under a year
and have had three sets of councilors and two secretaries.
We have reorganized home teaching companionships countless
times, moved dozens of people, and filled numerous
assignments for the bishop. However, as important and
ultimately necessary – and they are necessary – as those
things are they are not the reason the Lord calls elders
quorum presidents and their councilors. The Lord calls the
elders quorum presidency minister unto their quorum.

What I have cherished the most are the times when I have had the
opportunity to lay hands on one of my elders and give them
a blessing or when I have gone into their homes and given
them council or when I have the privilege of standing in
front of them in quorum meeting and giving the lesson.

There have been moments of frustration, moments where I
have questioned myself, moments when I questioned if
someone else should have been called to this position. I
know that someone else could have performed this calling
better, however I was called to this calling. When you are
called, brethren, it is immaterial whether there is someone
better suited for the calling because the calling comes
from inspired leaders. I know that our stake presidency is
called of God and that they issue calls as directed by the
spirit.

These feelings are not only limited to having priesthood
keys. We have all felt the feelings of despair as you have
strived to magnify your calling. Why can’t this be easier?
In an article in the March 2001 Ensign, Elder Holland
talked about these feelings with respect to missionary work
but I think it applies to every aspect of church membership.
He said:

“For that reason I don’t believe missionary work has ever
been easy, nor that conversion is, nor that retention is,
nor that continued faithfulness is. I believe it is
supposed to require some effort, something from the depths
of our soul.

If He could come forward in the night, kneel down, fall on
His face, bleed from every pore, and cry, “Abba, Father
(Papa), if this cup can pass, let it pass,” then little
wonder that salvation is not a whimsical or easy thing for
us. If you wonder if there isn’t an easier way, you should
remember you are not the first one to ask that. Someone a
lot greater and a lot grander asked a long time ago if
there wasn’t an easier way.

The Atonement will carry the missionaries perhaps even more
importantly than it will carry the investigators. When you
struggle, when you are rejected, when you are spit upon and
cast out and made a hiss and a byword, you are standing
with the best life this world has ever known, the only pure
and perfect life ever lived. You have reason to stand tall
and be grateful that the Living Son of the Living God knows
all about your sorrows and afflictions. The only way to
salvation is through Gethsemane and on to Calvary. The only
way to eternity is through Him—the Way, the Truth, and the
Life.”

This work is not easy, brethren. But I testify that the
Lord will bless you as you strive diligently to magnify your
callings the Lord will bless you. In a selfish way I strive
to magnify my callings for the blessings; not just for me
but mostly for my family.

If you will indulge me, brethren, I would like to give a
personal testimony of why I seek to magnify my calling. I
want to magnify my calling so that my sons don’t ever have
to question where my allegiance is. To quote Elder Holland
he said:
“Might we ask ourselves what our children know?
From us? Personally? Do our children know that we love the
scriptures? Do they see us reading them and marking them
and clinging to them in daily life? Have our children ever
unexpectedly opened a closed door and found us on our knees
in prayer? Have they heard us not only pray with them but
also pray for them out of nothing more than sheer parental
love? Do our children know we believe in fasting as
something more than an obligatory first‐Sunday‐of‐the‐month
hardship? Do they know that we have fasted for them and for
their future on days about which they knew nothing? Do they
know we love being in the temple, not least because it
provides a bond to them that neither death nor the legions                      

of hell can break? Do they know we love and sustain local
and general leaders, imperfect as they are, for their
willingness to accept callings they did not seek in order
to preserve a standard of righteousness they did not
create? Do those children know that we love God with all
our heart and that we long to see the face—and fall at the
feet—of His Only Begotten Son? I pray that they know this.”

I want them to know what I believe in. I want them to know
that I believe in inspired leadership. I need them to know
that I honor my priesthood. It is not enough for us to say
that we believe in the restored gospel but if we are not
living the restored gospel then we have no claim on our
children’s future. If we aren’t following the gospel we
have no right to expect or even ask that our children are
spared from the vile wickedness of our day. More than
anything I want my sons to know that I love God. I want
them to know that I love God more than money and
possessions and that the only way to show our love for God
is to do His work.

Puff Thief

While I was packing pictures yesterday, after I said no, Kyle got the puff container from the kitchen container, opened it and poured the whole contents onto Aiden's tray. Then proceeded with Aiden to eat them, although he is better with his dexterity. After I feed Aiden puffs, Kyle picks scavenges the leftovers off the floor. He also feeds handfuls to Aiden when my back is turn. So much for giving Aiden a snack so I can get something done.

Newest DJ in Town

Heidi

This is going to be a lame month of posting, I am referring to the lack of pictures, because we are in the process of moving and it has proved to be very time consuming. Probably because I am the only one to do it and I have the two boys, but it is worse because there are only like 2 sq ft of usable space. Okay, I exaggerate, maybe 5 sq ft, everything else is piled with boxes and stacks of things to pack.

So Kyle is getting to that age where he is into noticing the difference between boys and girls and the respective physical differences. Although he still says to me, "Kyle big boy. Mommy big boy." So I know we aren't there yet.

However, today, when I was drying myself after my shower. He said, "What's that?" I thought he meant my belly button. Nope! He meant my boobs. I told him they were boobs, I know not the best word to teach a two year old, but I really don't like the technical terms of things. He said to me, "Boobies have baby, feed." I affirmed his knowledge and was very surprised because I haven't breast fed Aiden since he was 2 1/2 months old (so 5 1/2 months ago). He kept saying, "Boobs have babies." Then he said, "Heidi have boobs." Well, she does, and he has also seen her breast feeding about 6 months ago. So I said yes. He also asked if Monkey has boobs, and alas, he does not.

So now Kyle knows that Heidi and I have boobs.


Eight whole months for Aiden today---18.7 lbs on our home scale. He's been having a rough go and so hopefully it'll get better. He does recognize things, baby food, puffs, bottle (he even knows that word), his bed, and me. He gets really vocal, presses his lips together and makes hmmm sounds when he wants anything--such as from the list above. He rolls both ways and uses this as a way to get things, sits well, gets on his hands and knees, and scoots.

This morning

I am in the shower. I open the curtain and Kyle says immediately
Kyle: Kyle not go to timeout.
Me: What?
Kyle: Kyle plays paper, Kyle not go to timeout.
Me: Really??? Okay.
Once out of the shower and in the bedroom, I realized he had pulled files out and spread all the papers around the bedroom. Seriously! But he already told me that he wasn't going to timeout. What's a mom to do.

Later:
Me: k, cranky.
Kyle: I not cranky.
Me: Yes, you are.
Kyle (yelling at me): No, I not cranky. I happy.
Me: You're not happy cuz you're whinny.
Kyle: I not whinny. I happy.
Me: Okay, be happy.
Kyle sits down and starts to suck his thumb with monkey.

Later:
Me: Are you making me crazy?
Kyle: Me not crazy.
Me: No, you're not crazy, but are you making me crazy?
Kyle: Yes!

Twinkies & Bruises

So each week, I buy Kyle a different treat to have to help him gain weight. This week we bought strawberry filled twinkies.

Tuesday, I gave him one with his second dinner at 10 am (every meal is called dinner and Kyle tells me about every 1/2 hour he needs it. If I say, "We can't have dinner until Daddy gets home," then the second Kyle see Evan he says, "Dinner time." I should say though that the first meal is not called anything, just, "Kyle needs cereal.") So back to the twinkie, the next dinner, Kyle asked for one by pointing to the box. I stated that he could have one a day. So I told him tomorrow.

Randomly yesterday while playing in the afternoon: "Kyle twinkie mar-dow (tomorrow)."

He also tells me what he wants to eat. I'll say, "Do you want a hot dog or chicken nuggets?"
Kyle's response: "Hot dog! Kyle wants ummmm ummmm, peanuts, ummmm ummm brown crackers, ummmm ummmm apple chips, ummmm ummmm marshmellows, ummm ummm chocolate juice-san (chocolate soy milk), ummmm ummm applesauce (yogurt)." I usually give him what he wants or at least parts.

He also will get the stool to see over the counter to me in the pantry and directs me---"This one! No, this one!" Or he comes in the pantry and does the same thing.

This morning he directed me to a twinkie, chocolate granola bar, fruit snacks, peanuts, strawberry & banana freeze dried chips, brown crackers with peanut butter, and chocolate soy milk. It makes me cringe because not only is it not always well balanced but it is frequently all brown/beige/white food. Luckily his plates are bright and colored. It is the only color food he seems to like.

In other news, Aiden has several bruises on his head. I think it is from him getting on his hands and knees in his crib lunging and hitting his head on the bars. Ouch!

Picture of the Day