Saturday, April 23, 2011

Bigger and Better

A lot of my friends are having big changes in their life. This week alone I have found out: 2 friends got engaged, 2 friends gave birth to little boys, 2 friends are closing on their first house, and several friends have graduated, are moving and getting professional jobs. I have a friend who is giving birth the end of next month and several friends who are pregnant. Evan is working so hard because he is graduating in August and he and one of my best friends are starting school at the U in the fall (Alyse got into graduate school!! Wahoo!! :)

I am truly, truly happy for them. A lot of my friends have worked so hard for these accomplishments or waited so long for a spouse or baby. I am so over joyed for them because I know how fulfilling it is to have a husband and babies.

However, it makes me feel sad when I hear these things--I thought that I was jealous and felt guilty and upset by that. But I realized what it was, I'm bored.

Bored, bored, bored.

I crave what those people are going thru--major changes and newness. I feel like every minute of my day is creeping by because I feel no direction. I am not getting things accomplished because I feel no motivation. I don't know where I am going in life and I feel like there is an emptiness in my life and I don't know what I should be doing. And I feel like Kyle is reflecting our shared apathy with bad behavior. As Dr. Seuss says we are in the waiting place (see Oh the Places You'll Go).

I am just floating and surviving---and not succeeding in any area of my life. Any suggestions? Any idea on what I should pursue? I've thought about this a lot and am at a loss.


Teresa said...

Let me know if you get any good suggestions, because I could use some help in this area as well.

Derek and Andrea said...

I feel like you just posted one of my journal entries!

Mallory said...

I think hobbies and mini goals are the best at this point in life. I always find if I have one realistic goal for the day my day goes better without me feeling super bored. I also do the book club in my ward so I have something to do during the day and an outing to go to during the month. I am a planner though so it seems if I can have some plan I always tend to do better at not feeling bored.

scuz said...

You definitely need something for you, whether it's a craft, a hobby, academics, or socializing. I know it seems boring and stagnant but don't forget that you are a wonderful mother and that is a thrilling and exciting accomplishment! Now start exploring your options!

Rachelle said...

I agree with Scuz. Enjoy what you are doing, but also find something you enjoy doing to explore. It should be something for just YOU and don't feel guilty about doing it. Exercise, crafting, book group, taking a class of some sort.
I like to set up play group/joy school for my kids because then they have fun with friends and you get some time to yourself- and I love it when it is at my house.
Even finding a little way to make some extra money. It feels good to contribute in that way. And makes me appreciate being able to stay home with kids even more and even appreciate being able to be bored sometimes :)