A lot of my friends are having big changes in their life. This week alone I have found out: 2 friends got engaged, 2 friends gave birth to little boys, 2 friends are closing on their first house, and several friends have graduated, are moving and getting professional jobs. I have a friend who is giving birth the end of next month and several friends who are pregnant. Evan is working so hard because he is graduating in August and he and one of my best friends are starting school at the U in the fall (Alyse got into graduate school!! Wahoo!! :)
I am truly, truly happy for them. A lot of my friends have worked so hard for these accomplishments or waited so long for a spouse or baby. I am so over joyed for them because I know how fulfilling it is to have a husband and babies.
However, it makes me feel sad when I hear these things--I thought that I was jealous and felt guilty and upset by that. But I realized what it was, I'm bored.
Bored, bored, bored.
I crave what those people are going thru--major changes and newness. I feel like every minute of my day is creeping by because I feel no direction. I am not getting things accomplished because I feel no motivation. I don't know where I am going in life and I feel like there is an emptiness in my life and I don't know what I should be doing. And I feel like Kyle is reflecting our shared apathy with bad behavior. As Dr. Seuss says we are in the waiting place (see Oh the Places You'll Go).
I am just floating and surviving---and not succeeding in any area of my life. Any suggestions? Any idea on what I should pursue? I've thought about this a lot and am at a loss.